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I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too. So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.If you're not sure if you could have been exposed, you should also be tested. If your partner says, "I've never been tested," you might want to wait to sleep with them until their answer changes.In this day and age, when free, anonymous testing is easily available, there is no reason not to be tested regularly. It's all very well and good to ask for your future sexual partner's STD status. I am waiting for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. They can simply spy through the blinds across the street or stalk her house at all hours of the night pretending they were “just stopping by to say hi”. I sit back down, slide my laptop over, hit refresh. In a world of social media and worldwide gossip, neighbours no longer need to walk three miles to gossip about the love life of the local widow.Ultimately, every widow is different and the only person whose opinion matters is her own.Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.
If you have had any possible exposure to HIV through unprotected sex, sharing needles, or other exposure to bodily fluids, you should be tested. Furthermore, free testing is available at numerous locations.These questions can help both you and your new partner protect your physical health: Many people will say yes to this question..be wrong.They think that their doctor automatically tests them for diseases at their annual exam. The vast majority of physicians do not screen their clients automatically for STDs. Furthermore, you should specifically ask about testing, at least for chlamydia and gonorrhea, before starting any new sexual relationships.Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.